"THE OSCARS: EVER SO SLIGHTLY GOLDEN"

Once again the glitz, the glam, and the sham made an appearance at the '81st Academy Awards' this past Sunday which proves that all that glitters isn't always gold.Truthfully, I've never been a fan (of any awards show). I find them drawn out, boring and in one word a regular 'yawnfest'. This year's show was no exception even with Hugh Jackman at the helm of this Oscar ship. Kudos to him for incorporating the nominated movies into his economically friendly opening number with the usage of homemade props.

The Kodak theatre looked stunning with the thousands of sparkling Swarovski's crystals neatly draped above the stage and the Michelangeloesque (reminiscent of the St. Peter's Basilica in Rome) lit up the floor. While the orchestra was featured on the stage (like the big bands of the 50's) rather than neatly tucked away in the pit. Great for those celebs sitting in the first few rows.

Unfortunately, as mentioned I didn't particularly like a lot of things about the show. Jackman's musical number with Beyonce looked out of place. He's clearly no Jay-Z but this was an unlikely combination of talent I'd rather choose to forget. It just looked flat out tacky. Ben Stiller's impersonation of a not-so-wanna-be-rap-artist Joaquin Phoenix (as made famous by his last appearance on the Letterman Show) fell flat. I also wasn't thrilled with Tina Fey (and Steve Martin's) appearance(s) either. The whole 'Sarah Palin' impersonation has been way too tiresome (beating a dead horse here are we Tina?) and so the least I see of her lately the better.

I was pleased with Jennifer Aniston who presented best animated feature film (alongside Jack Black). She looked great and rightfully so with her talented beau John Mayer there for support. She looked relaxed as ever and especially with Brangelina looking on in the front row would make me cringe just a little.

The best actress award went to Kate Winslet for 'The Reader' and her acceptance speech was fantastic. Frankly, the little golden statute had been a long time coming for her. I so loved when she asked her dad to whistle to let her know where he was in the audience. The best actor nod went to Sean Penn (who tied with Brad Pitt for best dressed male I'd like to add) for 'Milk' but he forgot to thank one of his biggest supporters, his wife. Yikes!

Some other things I found interesting were the surprise guests (all were previous winners) whom presented the best actor/actress awards. Sophia Loren looked like a bad drag queen. Physically she looks great but what happened to aging gracefully? Cringe worthy!

Heath Ledger was given the best supporting actor award for his portrayal of his demented version of the Joker in 'The Dark Knight' as his family was there to accept the award. Sadly, this was a bittersweet win for a man who had the potential continue to go on to do great things in film.

The big winner of the night (and no surprise here since it's been getting a lot of buzz lately) was 'Slumdog Millionaire'. It took home the 'best' of eigth awards including 'motion picture', 'director', 'adapted screenplay', 'cinematography', 'film editing', 'sound mixing', 'original score' and 'original song'.

I did save the best for last though. It's time for the red carpet awards (yes there is such an award even though technically it's never been a category recognized by the academy) and let me just say that all of the stars gave their suits n' frocks a lot of thought this year. Perhaps, they'd been taking notes from previous years and tried desperately to avoid being nominated for the not-so-prestigious worst dressed list.

Yes, even Marisa Tomei looked great (surprisingly for a change) in her silver neatly pleated sleeveless Versace gown. But her co-star Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) still looked atrocious (even with a necklace of Lokki his dearly departed pooch) and wearing Gaultier even, for a comeback he really should do something about his stylist. Rourke was tied for worst dressed with Phillip Seymour Hoffman who donned a ski beret with his tux. I've heard of being a slave to fashion but this is just flat out wrong. Oh behave!

Other graceful ladies included Penelop Cruz (best supporting actress for 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' btw nice speech and in two languages!) looked radiant in her bare shouldered Balmain vintage cream gown giving a whole new meaning to Spanish royalty. Ole!

Kate Winslet in a steel grey, two-toned Yves St. Laurent looked every bit of an Oscar winner with this stunning dress complimented by large diamond earrings. Sarah Jessica Parker in a 'hint of mint' strapless Dior ball gown paid homage to her Sex in the City's, Carrie Bradshaw. I also loved her softened darken locks (Garnier take care) a far cry from the shaggy blonde were accustomed to. C'est magnifique!

Anne Hathaway was the epitome of sophistication in a glittering Armani Prive. Her bare shouldered column dress only enhanced her alabaster skin and dark hair. Simply gorgeous! Angelina Jolie decided to go with a classic long black gown (no surprise here) from Elie Saab (and not the Morticia Addams she's infamous for). The green emeralds gave the whole look a splash of much needed colour.

As you can tell the night was a mixed bag of the good, the bad and the ugly. Thankfully, this show comes around only once a year. I'd just hate to have to sit in a comatose state through another three hours. See ya next year!